Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I just did...

One of  my friends recently had a baby and has asked me a few times, "How did you do it all by yourself?"  I never know how to answer this, but the first response is, "I just did."  Many people have asked me this, not just her.  They've said that their husband stayed home from work or came home early to help out.  Their sister/mom/MIL/friend stayed with them for the first few weeks to help out.  I had help, just not that same kind.  I had my parents and Shauna (and Mike) babysit for me when I was at work.  They helped with things around the house.  Went with me when I was out.  But a lot of time I was on my own.

We all know my situation was not normal.  I didn't have my husband making trips to Dairy Queen when I had a craving for a KitKat Blizzard.  I didn't have him help me off the couch when I was "stuck".  He wasn't at the rest of my appointments.  He wasn't there when I went into labor.  I didn't have him  at my bedside caring for me in the hospital when I gave birth.  He wasn't there to help with the late night feedings and dirty diapers.  I got my own Blizzards.  Rolled myself off the couch.  Went to my appointments alone.  Fed and changed Olivia at 3am.  My dad happened to be at my house when my water broke.  (lucky him)  I was lucky to have my parents and SIL, Shauna, to help me out while in the hospital.  They stayed up all night during delivery.  They were there both days in the hospital.  Shauna even stayed my first night there with Olivia and helped me.  Poor thing didn't have any sleep for 3 days and she had a family of her own to take care of!  Then my first night at home with Olivia, my mom stayed over to help.  She was pretty tired, too.  I know I was.  I only had 10 hours of sleep in 5 days!

I didn't have a husband there to help with diaper changes or feedings.  I didn't have him there to help with the piles of laundry, dishes in the sink and cleaning up the house.  I didn't have him there to run an errand for me while Olivia slept.  I didn't have him there to help with our traveling visits and all the stuff that comes with a newborn that you have to shove in your car and make 10 trips into the house.  I admit, most people don't thinks it was normal.  It was hard at times, but not all the time.  To me it's normal.  It's all I know.  I just did it.

I'm pretty sure that when I get married again and have another child (which I want), I will have a lot of getting used to.  I'm used to doing everything on my own, with no help.  I've always thought about what it would be like to have someone share the duties, or at least help out.  My guess is it will be pretty darn easy to me!  (Wishful thinking)

I think back and I do ask myself, "How did I do it?"  I'm really not sure.  It was only a few months since Patrick passed away.  I moved into a new condo.  I was commuting and hour to Milwaukee for my full time job.  I was keeping a household.  I was raising my newborn.  I guess I'm not sure how I did it.  I just did.  I had to.  No one else was there to do it.  Trust me.  I had a few breakdowns about very little things in life at that time.  I was angry at God.  I was sad.  I was busy.  I was lonely.  I was struggling.  I was stressed.  But the one thing that made me get up early every day is that I was a MOM.  The one thing I had dreamed of my entire life.

So, I think that's my answer.  How did I do it?  Because I love my title as Mom.

Disclaimer:  When I mean No Help, I don't mean No Help at All.  I have my wonderful family that has been here every step of the way.  What I mean is a spouse/significant other to help.

Monday, January 14, 2013


Yes, it's taking me a while to get caught up.  Even with all my time off.  I kept forgetting to blog.

In December, we had a lot of fun and were very busy.  The month started out with Olivia falling into Grandma and Grandpa's end table and cutting her head.  ER visit #2.  Glue again, no stitches.  She was so good there.  Didn't cry.  Didn't make a peep.  Didn't move.  Very lucky.
We then had Shauna's birthday and celebrated with a little party for her.  We had lots of fun.
Then I had one of my best friends, Tammy, and her family stay with me for the weekend.  It was so great to be able to spend time with them.  And to have plenty of room for them to sleep in the  new house!

We also had fun this year decorating for Christmas.  The last 2 years I wasn't so thrilled, but this year I was.  Olivia got her own tree this year in her room!

Olivia went to see Santa at the mall.  So that didn't work out as planned.  But got a nice picture.

Then the snow came!  I was so excited for it, but one obstacle was there.  Or not there.  My snow blower didn't work.  We tested it when I moved in, but of course when I needed it most it didn't start.  Guess who was laughing in heaven?  The big snow storm was also my first day of Christmas vacation for 2 weeks.
Olivia decorated cookies with Grandma.
We got to have a nice dinner with Rese.  We had a lot of fun and Olivia learned a new word.  Boobies.  Thank you Rese.  :)

We ran into Santa while shopping at Festival.  She didn't think that was fun either.

We had Christmas Eve and Christmas at my parents with family.  The kids had so much fun!

My new gun.  BB gun.  Pink.  Squirrels watch out!

Grandma and Grandpa with all the grandkids

Christmas Eve outfit

Olivia and Kate playing at her new table from Grandma and Grandpa

Christmas Day outfit.  And new tattoo

Olivia and I

Then unfortunately I got the flu Christmas night and was sick all week.  So we just hung out at home for the week.

We then spent New Year's Eve at the Dells with the Worthingtons, Lichts and Piotrowskis.  The kids got to swim and have fun.  I got to look fat in a suit, chat with my girls, have sushi and drink wine.  It was a fun time!

I then got to have lunch with two of my High School friends, Stacey and Sara.  It was so nice!  We had a blast catching up.  We need to do it more often.

Last week I got to go out for dinner and drinks with a bunch of girls in town.  It was so nice to get out and chat.  Next time I won't stay up until the sun comes up.  It was a long day after that.  Oh my!  But to me it was worth it.  I had SO much fun!

The next day we got to see the Johnson's new baby, Liam.  He is just too cute!  Then we headed over to the Blessing's house for brunch and exchange of gifts.  As I'm sure you are aware, Olivia got an easel.  The one I couldn't put together for the life of me.  My mom fixed it. Thank goodness!

Olivia showing Uncle Shawn how to use the iPad.

The new easel

Olivia and her "Eddie Bedder" t-shirt.  It's easier to say than Pearl Jam.

We had a great time over the holidays seeing our family and friends.  It's so nice to be back in routine every day.  As of right now, I'm looking forward to the warm weather!